in regards to the issue of medication, i have seen many people suffering of the disorder willing better to go through the roller coaster of depression to mania and vice versa, than finding the right combination of medications that will work for them. it is a very painful, long, hideous, and costly process. for each individual is a trial and error between the sufferer and the physician to find the exact combination that will work. i have seen customers that it has taken them up to two years to find the right thing that will work for them.

if you believe that he is actually suffering from the disorder, and since you dont want to do so, then dont file for divorce. let him do it if he wants and then take it from there. in the meantime, keep encouraging him to see a psychiatrist. however, chances are that you wont be successful in that endeavor. what you could do is to inform yourself as much as you can about the disorder, find support groups in your area, and / or join internet forums. there are a couple out there that are very good in assisting family and friends to understand what to expect from people that are know by experience the same hell that you are in.

this i can tell you, it takes a very special person to deal with that. professionally, i can deal with it. even though i might sound harsh, in my personal life, here are two types of people that i avoid if i base my choice in the suspicion of someone suffering from a mental disorder. one of them is bi-polar, the other would be borderline personality disorder. they can appear to be average, and even exciting, but the drama involved is more that i want to deal with in an every day basis.

in regards of you taking the kids away, there could be some legal implications in regards to paternal rights interference. i suggest you contact your local authorities in regards to that. on the other hand, i believe he is completely bluffing, because he would want the alone time to deal with his “real true love” now. but if the instability of bi-polar is really what you are dealing with, i wouldnt be surprised he would pull some kind of strings towards that.

good luck

good luck

What I think you need to do is contact an attourney. He doesn’t get to dictate what you do, where you live, whether you take the kids to see their grandparents and how happy you are in life, and you are TOTALLY letting him. Get in touch with an attourney – the best one you can afford. And don’t tell him you’re going to, either. He’ll just try to bully you out of it. So just do it. Get someone who knows what they’re doing on your side. Don’t let him control you! Even if you still love him, you have GOT to know your rights. You just HAVE to!

Second, I think you should just throw in the towel on this relationship. Think about it…he’s claiming bipolar now, he’s freaking leaving his family for some skank he met on TWITTER for God’s sake, he’s completely ruining your year, you said yourself he’s constantly accusing you of stuff, lying to you, doing whatever he likes whenever he likes, sleeping on the couch in front of your kids…What more proof do you need that it’s over? I know you said that your heart still loves him, but by now at least your head should be telling you differently. Don’t he a fool for him…he’s CLEARLY not worth it, father of your children or not.

ETA: I don’t really think that you shoud take into account his “bipolar” claim…To be honest, it sounds more like a case of histrionics to me. He wants to “identify” with his internet girlfriend, so he’s made himself think he’s bipolar…which is why he’s displaying symptoms to people. Make sense? I could be wrong, but at any rate, if he really does think he’s bbipolar then he needs to go and get himself evaluated, so he can take the proper actions to get himself stabilized. I agree with others who say that he may not be making a “rational” choice…Perhaps offer his precious divorce if he gets help.

Just by what you are saying, I have a hunch he has a “thing” for this other woman. He is not thinking clearly, he is messed up in the head, seriously. This is the PORTRAIT of my exhusband, exactly….

My ex acted “weird” throughout his marriage to his exwife and blamed her for everything…had affiars….multiple businesses….excessive spending habits, entitlement issues…narcissistic behavior…and then BAM – he would crash. This wasn’t SO pronounced until he started getting paranoid with me — years later and threatening me, checking my odometer, questioning my phone bill,etc. He was fine with me for 5 years — then after a death in his family and being under a lot of stress – he literally changed almost overnight. I was in shock. He couldn’t keep a job — I was working my &ss off to support us — and HIS alimony. He had the nerve to come home with new tires on his truck one day — as my gas was shut off. I couldn’t run the home business that was PAYING for his spending…..I had to give him an ultimtim — stay on the meds, or I am gone. He wouldn’t stay on the meds, I left. I lost everything. Thats my story.

You need support — see a counselor. This has nothing — NOTHING — to do with you…and its really hard, I know. I can’t tell you whats best for you — but this is HIS issues. If HE won’t deal with it — you will just be along for the ride, so learn how to manage your feelings, and your business, and PROTECT yourself.

good luck. My heart goes out to you, I remember how I felt.

Obviously it wasn’t a great marriage, at least not for him. This has nothing to do with the girl on the internet. Caring for three children is hard enough, without one being “special needs”. A part of him thinks that he can walk away from all of his problems. Make sure he understands that that isn’t possible, that even if he is divorced he will have the same responsibilities. Try to do this as calmly as possible, in a dispassionate way. Discuss childcare details, Logistics, throw out some custody scenarios, make him confront the reality. Don’t argue. Mention going back to work for you is a problem because of day care.

He probably is sick. It sounds like he may be bipolar, that does make people make drastic, impulsive, self destructive decisions. If you can, see if you can get him treatment for bi-polar disorder before either of you make any big decisions. Agree with him, it will catch him off guard. When he says he is bipolar, say “that is why I think you need help” and offer him lots of brochures, try to get him to see a psychiatrist.

If he won’t see a psychiatrist. you will have to get a divorce. This situation won’t work, the chaos can’t be good for the kids. A couple living together that doesn’t want to can make each other miserable. Make sure you sell the house and split the proceeds. That ends up being the most equitable way to divide things, and most families can’t afford the family house while maintaining two seperate housholds.

The house is half his, he is under no obligation to leave the house.
No way will you get arrested for taking the kids to your Mom’s.

and it’s also like getting high together with someone. it’s never fun to be the lone drunk at the party… you know what i’m saying?

bottom line is this. there’s nothing you can do to hold him down. maybe one day, he’ll go through the ‘guilt’ phase and comeback to you with his tail between his legs.. and i’m hoping by that time, you’re light years away.

some people won’t forgive him for his illness, sometimes, he gets a ‘get out of jail free’ card for his illness. sometimes, it’s just all too confusing.. who’s who and who’s the illness?

people deal with taking pills every day to be ‘normal’. people spend endless hours in therapy to be normal. having a ‘normal’ day is something to be celebrated. seems like he can give two sh*ts about what should be important to him and for him to be treated.

kick him out, and tell him not to let the door hit him on the @ss on his way out.

It’s obvious he’s a godless piece of filth, who can’t support his own family well enough- so he bides his time in petty disgust.

So get over his cheating ass- his little 900mile traveling supplicant wuss bag ass… and become a strong women who can attract a man worth something

Be worth something. You have to make up for the stressful life you will likely put onto someone else… The first step toward that is leaving him high and dry.